Muchas, muchas gracias

Thanks so much for celebrating my birthday with me, you guys. I had a great time. I'll try to remember to post a couple of pictures later, but 80% of them are of Lucas – not that I mind, of course, I wasn't exactly going for the super model look last night. By the way, who wants to take belly dancing lessons with me?

By the other way, you guys should check out this cool site, where people design fun, random things (I know that's a lame explanation, but I don't know how to describe it). Some of my favorites are this leafy green one, this spiky one, this whispy one, and all the Star Wars ones by this guy. I think they make great desktop backgrounds.

Dinner on Tuesday, anyone?

It turns out that I can't have a big party on my birthday because Tim has class until 8:15, and because I put off planning it for too long.

Unfortunatley, since Tim has class, that means I'll spend most of the day at work or home alone. :( Would anyone like to come over and have dinner with me Tuesday night? I'll even cook (I have this yummy-looking cranberry pie in mind that I found in a magazine but haven't gotten a chance to make yet).

Also, we won't be having our traditional Monday night dinner, since it's St. Patrick's Day, and Katie and I have a long-standing tradition involving beer and cool music. So if a week without dinner at the Webster Inn makes you sad, come join me Tuesday instead. I'm not sure what dinner will be yet, but I'm pretty sure cheese and fresh bread will be involved.

Party Animal

My birthday is about a month away, and I was thinking this morning about how I should celebreate it. The thing is, I love parties, and I haven't had a birthday party for about a decade. Can I throw one for myself?

It would be the bring-me-presents kind of party (although it might be the bring-a-snack kind of party). It might have a theme (luau? pirate?) and would definatly have good food and games and good friends (who aren't in Mexico). Mostly I just want to hang out with people. Okay, and I love costumes and fun decorations.

One problem I have is the date. The weekend before my birthday has the Youth Group Banquet, and the weekend after is Easter (people may be traveling).

So, that's not weird, is it? To throw yourself a party? Hmm, I might have to do it regardless.

Indy Bound

So, Tim's second week of work went much better than his first, for which I am very greatful. Nevertheless, we both feel like we need a little vacation, so we decided on a whim to take a little trip. We're leaving for Indianapolis this afternoon and getting back on Sunday afternoon.

There's nothing particular in Indy that we want to see, we just want to get out of the house and out of town for a couple of days. When you're in a hotel, you can't clean the house, run errands, do home-improvement projects, or any of those other things that seem to always be hanging over my head. And we've promised to not talk about our jobs, at all. And we're totally going to sleep in. I guess I just have a hard time relaxing at home when I can think of "things to do," and I always can. I need to get over that.

I'd like to apologize for disappearing, though. I feel like I haven't seen people very much lately. Who wants to come over to my house on Monday for dinner?

Not the best of weeks...

So, Tim might not be a teller after all. It's a long story. In the mean time, we'd appreciate your prayers as he tries to figure out where God wants him, and how he's supposed to get there. We're both feeling pretty lost (and a little scared) right now. Thanks, guys.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me,
Show Thy face and all is bright.

Man may trouble and distress me,
’Twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me;
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me,
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster, scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Take, my soul, full salvation;
Rise o’er sin and fear and care,
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine.

Haste thee on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.
Heaven’s eternal days before thee,
God’s own hand shall guide us there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission,
Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope shall change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

I need a new Bible Study; any suggestions?

So, I just called my Discussion Leader and dropped out of Bible Study Fellowship. I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it, and I was coming to dread it.

They are very careful about being non-denominational, which is great, but that also seems to means that no one disagrees with anyone else, even when they say something totally unsupported by the text. (By the way, it amazes me how often people's answers are basedon their general impressions of what the Bible says, rather than what the text in question says.) There have even been a few times when someone gets confused about what question we're on, and answers the wrong one, and the Discussion Lear just says, "Thank you," and moves on, even though that question wasn't answered.

Occasionally, the questions ask you to get allegorical. During the lesson about Jesus calming the storm, there was a question about storms in your life (or something like that). I wasn't going to say anything in class, but the leader called on me. I answered that I didn't think the text was meant to be read symbolically; it was a demonstration of Jesus' power, a proof that he was God, and a reminder that he is sovereign over everything. Everyone just stared at me for a few seconds, and the leader thanked me and asked someone else. They didn't agree or disagree; they just moved on. It's like there's an unspoken rule against actually engaging the text.

Once, a woman I was sitting next to during the opening asked me how I was liking BSF. I said I didn't feel like I was getting much out of the discussions. She told me not to worry; the discussions are just to "till the soil," the lecture is where the real learning happens.

That agrees with what Wikipedia says about it:
"Discussion groups are led by Discussion Leaders, who are specifically directed to avoid any formal teaching role (this being left to the Holy Spirit during member’s personal quiet times during the week, and the Teaching Leader in his/her lecture)."

I'm not calling BSF unscriptural or anything, but it's definately not for me. I go to Bible study because I want to discuss, I want to hear other people's opinions and experiences.

Does anyone have suggestions of other studies I can participate in? I still feel like I need one every week.

A call to puttering

I don't have any plans for tonight yet, and while I wouldn't mind hanging out with my friends, I also wouldn't mind an evening at home. That's lame, I know, but then I could sew a little, and maybe watch Pride & Prejudice while working on my photo album, and maybe even go grocery shopping so I can sleep in tomorrow instead of doing it then (b/c if you don't get to the store before 9 a.m. on Saturday, it's a zoo).

Really, one of the best ways to relax is to putter [def.: to busy or occupy oneself in a leisurely, casual, or ineffective manner] around the house doing little things, watering plants, baking cookies, re-arranging artwork, stuff like that. That's what I want to do tonight.

It's not necessarily that I want to be alone, though. It's that I want to do things with my hands tonight instead of playing games or just sitting and talking. Is it possible to socialize and work at the same time? It would be like a "bee," a sewing/shopping/scrapbooking/ironing/laundry-folding/recipe-copying bee where we'd gab and get things done – all the things we can't get done when we're at work or school (or chasing small children around) all day.

Of course, then I'd have to drag all of my sewing stuff to someone else's house, or they'd have to drag all their wrinkly clothes to mine, or whatever. But if we can work that out, I'm all for it. Does that sound good to anyone else?

Harumph

This just in, the red hat with the buckle in the post below has been discontinued. Blaguards! [shakes fist] That was my favorite one! If it's not for sale any more, take it off the site! I will now be dis-satisfied with ever other red cotton bucket hat. Life isn't fair.

Hats, again.

As you know, I love hats, but I really don't own very many. Besides baseball hats, I have a tan/brown floppy one I wear to church and a red, fuzzy winter one my Mom & Dad got me for Christmas. So here are the ones I'm hoping to buy soon (just becuase I'm impatient and I feel like talking about them).

For winter dress:

For winter fun:

For summer red days:

For summer girly days:

Tim wants me to get this one:

That's not too many is it? :)

Blessed in blood & blessed in law

You don't get to choose your family. You don't get to pick how big it is, who's in it, or how they turn out. I am blessed because God gave me an open, caring, loving family that love me no matter what and let me be whatever I wanted -- with a brother and sister who love God and me -- and we can alternate among reminiscing, political debates, movie quotes, and real , honest conversation over Sunday dinner.

What I never thought about is, you don't get to choose your in-laws either. I am equally blessed in this area, but somehow it seems more amazing. My husband's family is great -- loving and rowdy and close -- and they don't criticize my house keeping or imply I'm not good enough for their Tim, or any of those annoying things that in-laws stereotypically do. They just love me. Well. Even Tim's aunts and uncles make me feel like a welcome part of the family.

And now my siblings are getting married, and I'm blessed there too. Katie's husband is great, Joel's girlfriend is terrific, and Abby's fiance is a wonderful guy who will take great care of her. It's like my family just keeps getting bigger and better.

It's simply amazing, incredible grace.

And I can wear this red sweater while my other one's in the wash...

Having shrunk my brown dress pants and ripped my khakis, I spent today's lunch break at the Plainfield Ave. Goodwill. I didn't find either of the things I was looking for, but I did get two spring jackets (a pleather one for work, and a corduroy one for play) and a tan cable sweater that may be a size too small for me. I arguably need all three, but I also arguably need a giant bowl of Moose Track right now. Yes, yes I do.

You see my problem? Some people can't walk out of Costco without a new blender, and their weight in canned corn. I can't leave Goodwill without at least one cute shirt or sweater -- even if I had no intention of buying one. I just can't stay away from that rack of $3.29 shirts! I mean it.

There's a lot of junk at Goodwill, of course, but since becoming a Goodwill shopper, I've bought more name-brand clothes (New York & Company, Eddie Bauer, Express) than I ever did before. And really, $3.29 isn't that much right? Unless you're on a budget (we are) and tend to find at least 4 things you want in each trip (I do).

So here's my question: how much clothing should I own? When do I have enough?

On a related note, based on my browsing patterns, I apparently can never own too many:

Red Shirts
Sun Hats
Striped Blouses
Copies of Ivanhoe
Kinds of Cheese
Tea Lights
Boxes of Tea

For Stephenie

I'm sitting at Stephenie's desk as she packs to head for Mexico. She says I have to blog more, even about boring things, so here goes.

Today, I went to work. I've been gettng more and more sick of going to my job every day. Tim says I need to start looking for another job again, but I don't know what to look for. I do some graphic design, some page layout, some writing, some strategic work. I don't feel qualified to do one of those things full time for, say, a graphic design company. I just want to work where people notice what I do; I want some sense of accomplishment. Is that too much to ask!

Enough griping. When I got home, Tim had cleaned the house and bought me some lovely yellow flowers.

He was probably inspired in this by a conversation we had a lunch. I said that the tree was dropping needles, so we should probably get rid of it. But I didn't want to, because when the Christmas stuff is out, winter seems cheerful and glittering, with twinkling lights and satin ribbons (fa la la la la, la la la la). But as soon as you put it away, all you have is gold, gray winter. The shades are closed to keep out the cold - no green and no sun - two months of snow and two more months of gray and rain. So for now, the Christmas lights are staying up, and candles will be lit promptly every evening at 6.

I still appreciate the flowers, though, Tim. Many, many thanks.

The dearest freshness deep down things

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil Crushed.
Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

– Gerard Manley Hopkins

For You Cynics Out There

My boss is reading a book called "Joy at Work," about how employees work better when they love their work place, so you should help them connect with one another and have "team building" events and stuff like that.

I'm all for open communication and public employee recognition; employees have to feel like the company needs them, like they do something significant. Nevertheless, I think the whole fun at work idea takes it to far. Maybe my generation just needs to grow up a little.

Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.

I saw this while shopping for kitchen art.



I was thinking something more fruity for the kitchen, though. Apples, maybe. :)

Sarcasm has a bad name. Dostoevsky called it "the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded."

I tend to agree with Nick Hornby though: "Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on earth tolerable."

Anyone know who Nick Hornby is?

Shopping Advice Needed

Get Your Own! See Comments

Heart on My Sleeve

In response to my post yesterday, a friend commented on my openness in admitting what I'm struggling with. I appreciate that, but it's a little confusing.

You see, I've always considered myself a pretty open person. If you ask me my opionion or feelings on something, and if I can tell you're interested (and gracious), I will tell you just about everying, including my struggles and failings. I want to have it together, and sometimes it bothers/worries me intensely that I don't, but I'll freely admit that. There's still that ultra-personal or too-painful 10% that I rarely tell anyone, except God, but I think everyone has that.

On the other hand, my mom has commented before that I keep too much to myself, that I would be (I don't know) happier if I was less quiet and private. And I feel like there are very few people in my life that I'm close too, and I don't like that.

Here's how it works, I think. I'll open about things, provided that someone else brings it up. (This blog is un-solicited, but I can assume you'll only read it if you're already interested.) On the other hand, when I know someone else is struggling, I don't want to push, so I wait for them to bring it up, even if I'm interested and I care very much. Sheesh, no wonder I'm not close to very many people.

Goal: Stop avoiding awkward social situations by not bringing things up.

So, If this blog turns into an excuse for navel-gazing, I'm going to stop. That's exactly why I don't keep a regular journal.

All the News That's Fit to Print

It's been a while since I've done this, hasn't it. What's going on in my life? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1. Tim and I have a house guest. Emily's camp job ended over the weekend, so she and all of her stuff are in our basement until she a two camp friends can find a house to rent. It's a little weird, and I'm struggling to hold my personal time a little more losely. This may sound strange, but it's harder for me to love people when they interrupt time I consider my own, like quitet evenings when I'm reading. I guess now is the time to start getting over that.

2. Tim will be finishing college as a full-time Cornerstone student this fall. :P He really hoped to avoid that by taking night classes and University of Phoenix stuff, but it just got to complicated, so he'll be taking classes and graduating in December. The greatest blessing in all of this, he seems very accepting of it, not discouraged like I thought he'd be. He might even get to take his internship at a publishing house, which would be great.

3. I lent Harry Potter #1 to Tad over the weekend (which he liked, naturally), so I read Eragon at his suggestion. Tad LOVES these books and had read each a dozen times. Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed. I think I guessed every major plot twist, and not just because it's a lot like Star Wars. Most books about kids are written by adults looking back; they remember what it's like to be 16, but they have the wisdom of having moved beyond it. Eragon was written by a 16 year old, and I don't think he's undestands people very well yet. He tries to psychoanalyize Eragon a few times, and it always seems simplistic, maybe even silly. The author also has a thing for adjectives, and sprinkles them liberally through his paragraphs. This gets on my nerves. Sorry, Tad. I did book the sequal on hold, though. I want to know if the rest of my predictions come true. :)

Also, I'm currently listening to a CD of Bulgarian folk music that I got from the downtown library. Very weird, but I like most of it.

The Birthday That Was

So, I just wanted to thank everyone for a most excellent birthday this weekend.

Sunday (my actual birthday), I spent the day with my family, which now includes Tim, Dad, Mom, Grandma Lyzenga, Katie, Joel, and Doug – and for the first time, Emily (my brother Joel's, um, acquaintance of particular interest), of whom first impressions are running very high. We had fajitas for dinner, at my request, and dump cake for dessert. Then I opened presents, and we sat around and talked until evening church.

Katie is usually amused by the sort of things I get for presents – amused in that, "My sister is weird, and I love her for it" sort of way. This year, gifts from my gracious family and friends included:

• A raglan-sleeve Tigers t-shirt (from Tim)
  
• A mesh fishing hat to wear kayaking this summer (from Mom & Dad)
  
• A fancy straw hat (from Mom & Dad)
  
• An herb garden for my kitchen (from Katie, Joel, and Doug)
  
• A air popcorn popper (from Mom & Dad)
  
• A book for writers about character archetypes (from Suzanne)
• A home-made wooden chess board (from Eric & Jen)
  

Keep in mind that I requested each of these things, except for the book from Suzanne (who is marvelous at picking out books I like). Do herbs and a popcorn popper seem like strange gifts? Maybe. But they're things I really wanted to have. And now, I'm very happy to have them all, and very grateful.

In a way, though, making lists sounds mercenary, or at least less personal. This whole asking-for-particular-gifts ritual still throws Tim off, since his family never makes gift lists. They just pay attention and guess at something you'd like, I think. That seems too hard and too risky.

Of course, maybe this system only works with my family. They don't take gift-giving too personally, and I like that. I mean, If I get you something you'd rather not have, you can come up to me later and ask for a receipt, and that doesn't bother me at all. I'd rather give you something you really want. Tim says that this is weird, that the Bonts are very blunt, about this and other things.

This is getting pretty long, and my point has started to wander, so I'll write about the rest of my birthday later. Rest assured, it was all goodness.

The big 2-7.

So, I'm turning 27 on Sunday. That's not scary, per se, but it is weird. I mean, 27 isn't old, but it's a lot more grown-up than I am. Okay, okay, so I am grown up, but I still don't feel like an adult. Which doesn't make any sense, since I do everything that a typical adult does. But I still put them in the "grownup" category, while my friends and I are in the "between teenager and grownup" category. Logical? No.

Then again, the number is completely irrelevant, isn't it. If we didn't keep track, nothing would change. I would feel the same (physically), I would do the same things. There just wouldn't be cake and presents, and all of that good stuff.

Speaking of good stuff, I have to pick out my meal for Sunday dinner. Hmm. What is my favorite meal? Fajitas are terrific, but I still feel like you need to have meat and potatoes on Sunday. I'm definitely asking for Dump Cake for desert, though. I wish my birthday was in the summer so I could have fresh fruit. Mmm, raspberries.

Ummm

Man, has it been a while since I've done this. Sorry, everybody. And by everybody, I mean the 3 people who probably read this. Question: If you have a blog, and nobody reads it, is it really there? I'm not looking for reassurance here, I'm just asking.

So, what's been going on lately? Well, we put a down-payment on some kayaks, planning to use them on a May vacation to Kentucky. Then we found out Tuesday that Tim will be working this spring as a soccer coach at Zion, so we'll have to put it off until August.

Seriously, Tim went from having a year with no decent jobs, to suddenly having three overlapping jobs. I'm very thankful, and I feel much calmer and more confident than I have in the past few months. But I'm not sure I should.

You see, I'm pretty sure I feel confident -- not because I trust God more now -- but because things are going alright again. Because, honestly, I'm still feeling pretty cynical about God. I agree with Job that, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away," but it's that second part of that verse that gives me trouble. I don't see any reason in what God has been doing in my life, and I don't see any growth in godliness in myself to justify all of these struggles I've been having.

And it's pretty scary, especially in light of that "Not everyone who says, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven" sermon we had a few weeks ago. I feel like my brain still agrees with all of this Christian stuff, but my heart isn't in it. It just doesn't seem that important, maybe because it hasn't seemed all that helpful lately. And I know that I have to judge things by whether they're true, not weather they "work" how I want them to, but I still feel like I'm just going through the motions.

You guys can pray for me, if you would. Thanks.

Warning: Cranky Day

Yet again, it's 4 here at P&N, and I'm ready to go home. More than ready. I spent 6 hours today working on a proposal, every piece of which was given to me at the last minute. Proposals stress me out.

Now I'm scanning documents for a PPT presentation I'm putting together. It's boring, and I'm feeling whiny. I want to go home, drink cranberry juice, and read a good book. In other news, I think I'm getting a cold.

So, how do you get yourself out of "Woe is me" mode at work? I can't be calling my husband every time I feel down. I don't want to whine to my co-workers all the time. Besides, I'm pretty isolated at work; I can't see anyone else from my desk, and I can go hours without talking to anyone. Most days it feels like the only time people come into my cubicle is when they give me more work or interrupt what I'm doing to ask a question. I need some pleasant human contact, some reminder that what I'm doing here is worthwhile, that it is significant and appreciated.

Woe is me.

Late is the hour in which I choose to post.

I can't wait until it's five o'clock. Can't. Wait.

On a related note, isn't "o'clock" a cool word? It's the only o' contraction we use anymore, so it has an archaic feel. I'm guessing it was originally "Five of the clock," then "Five o' the clock," before it became what we use now. Have you ever wanted to greet someone with, "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" I have. Alas, I would sound like I'd seen too many old movies. Which is not possible. (For some reason, I think I can get away with "alas," though.)

Speaking of older modes of speech (this is so much more interesting than my real work), I love how the Rohirrim speak and how people speak to them; it uses speech patterns from Old English. For example, when Gandalf enters Edoras for the first time in "Two Towers," he says, "The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King." If you can't understand why that's better than, say, "You don't seem pleased to see us, King Theoden," you probably don't understand me at all.

I like to resurrect old words, phrases, and ways of speaking. Which are your favorites, gentle reader?

Note to Self: Never Do This Again

So, being the persnickety person that I am, I got put in charge of designing forms and templates at my company. To be perfectly honest, it's my own fault. 3-4 years ago, I happened to notice that none of the forms here matched (different header sizes, different fonts, etc.), that we used different ones in different offices, and that they were all difficult to use and (worst of all) ugly. So I went to my boss and said, "Please let me fix these," and I've been doing it every since.

It's not so bad at first, because I get to design a general "look" and have the feeling of accomplishment I get when brining order out of chaos – one of my favorite things. But then there's the six-week approval process:

1) Have boss review forms.
2) Edit forms.
3) Have admin staff review forms.
4) Edit forms.
5) Have Officers review forms. (Because they need to review EVERYTHING.)
6) Edit forms.
7) Have a secretary who never responded in step 3 email you and request changes.
8) Edit forms.
9) Post forms to Intranet and template drives.
10) Realize that you left a legally-required line off three of the forms and that the footers weren't all the same size, but nobody noticed.
11) Edit and re-post forms.

You get the idea. Then there's the fact that, as soon as you are done, somebody brings up another form and decides that it should be standardized too. It's amazing how many forms an engineering company uses. That's why I'm still at it 4 years later. (I don't do this all the time, just a day or two every few months – but 20 hours of moving formatting cells and editing borders is about as much as I can handle.)

On the up side, I still get a warm, fuzzy feeling when I see a bunch of nasty, confusing forms become neat and coordinated. I love for things to match; is that so wrong? Of course, the hardest thing is getting people to use the new forms, instead of the old, ugly ones they're used to. Fortunately, that's not my responsibility.

In other news, I ate some less-than-stellar canned soup for lunch today, and my stomach is giving me trouble. "Chicken & Dumplings" my eye. Try "Slimy Chunks of Dough & Incidental Poultry Bits." Yuck.

Brrrrrrr

I am now officially ready for spring. It is SO COLD in my house right now. We put blankets over the front door and the kitchen windows to keep the heat in, and I walk around all the time wrapped in blankets. As of last week, we hadn't gotten enough snow yet to qualify for a real winter; now we have.

Also, Tim is sick of getting up in the middle of the night to shovel. The man needs some sleep.

I Love Hats!

So, I just found this terrific new page called E4Hats.com that sells tons of cool hats. I love hats! I sometimes wished I live in the 20s-40s when they were fashionable.

Anyway, I've spent an embarrassing amout of time at E4Hats.com this week, and if I had the money and wouldn't feel totally wasteful, I'd buy 10 or 20 of them. Here are my favorites:

http://www.kaboodle.com/lisa_ann/hats.html

I think this is my all-time favorite. The thing is, it's a navy hat, and I have a black winter jacket.

So check is out, and tell me what you think. I definitely need a hat to wear hiking/camping this summer. Too much sun gives me headaches.

Best In-Laws Ever

This past weekend, all the TJs and I all got to hang out together near Manistee. Tim's dad preaches in a church up there every few weeks, and sometimes, one of the parishioners lets the whole family stay in his cottage for the weekend. It's not very big, and there are 11 of us, so I'm sure we'd kill each other before too long. Fortunately, three days is not too long, so we have a great time.

The cottage's second story is an open loft over the dining room, kitchen, and bed rooms. When you're up there, you can see down into the living room, so naturally, we always spend a good portion of the weekend dropping things on each other.

Here's Tacy being a player and a target.

The balcony is also an excellent place to give performances. I believe this is a song-and-dance routine from a Dick Van Dyke episode.

For Christmas this year, Tim's mom made us all flannel pants. And since we were all together at bed-time, we just had to get a group shot.

Saturday was a beautiful, snowy, sunny day. Here's a shot out the back window down toward the lake/pond.

One of the best things about Manistee is that we don't really do anything. We just sit around.

Here's Dori playing "Once Upon a Time."

Trina & Elliott rocking out.

Tad: A Self-Portrait

Sin never makes sense.

Why is it usually easy to say, "I'm a sinner, but God and I are working on it," but almost impossible to say that about someone else when they hurt or annoy you?

The frustrating thing is, even when people apologize, I can still be frustrated with them -- convinced either that they didn't really realize how much it hurt/annoyed me, or that they could have avoided doing it in the first place with a little bit of self-control. Grace is always harder than I think.

"Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all of us love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour — unceasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family."
– Henri Nouwen

Resurrection – After a Fashion

My car started this morning!!!!!!!!! I guess it was just too cold Tuesday and Wednesday. Wus.

I can handle change. It's uncertainty I hate.

Sometimes, I think I'm too organized for my own good. (I know you're all aghast, but hear me out on this one.)

My boss and I are trying to get an intern (have been for 4 months or so), and yesterday she asked me to find out exactly how much help we need and when (i.e., 20 hours/week this spring & 40 hours/week this summer). So this morning I sat down to edit my previous list-of-what-I-do spreadsheet, showing how long my weekly work takes, how much my upcoming projects will take, and what the Intern will be doing with his/her time.

Well, wouldn't you know it, I'm still working on the darn thing. 4 hours later, it's spawned 2 new spreadsheets (each color-coded differently), and I'm not sure that I'm any closer to the answer.

(On a side note, one of the engineers on my floor laughs like a hero in a corny old move -- "Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!" -- like he's leaning slightly backward with his hands on his hips. He's very jovial. And also very loud. You can hear him everywhere on first floor. He's doing it right now.)

When I first came here, I took a personality test so my boss would know what sort of work situations I like best (I think). Anyway, I kept it, because I love personality tests. According to DiSC, I'm the Objective Thinker Pattern. Here are a couple of quotes from the description:

"Objective Thinkers tend to have highly developed critical thinking abilities. When they are in doubts about a course of action, they avoid public failure by preparing meticulously." (Hence the numerous spreadsheets, and how I tend to over-plan for everything.)

"Objective Thinkers prefer to work with people who, like themselves, are interested in maintaining a peaceful environment. They are particularly uncomfortable with aggressive people. Despite being mild-mannered, Objective Thinkers have a strong need to control their environment." (If I've seemed stressed lately, it's because I've been feeling entirely not-in-control. See yesterday's post.)

"Objective Thinkers are concerned with the 'right' answer and my have trouble making decisions in ambiguous situations. With their tendency to worry, they may get bogged down in 'analysis paralysis'." (This is so true.)

My point? I don't know that I have one, except maybe -- I drive myself crazy sometimes.